This essay by the coder 'Loopy' is a wonderfully insightful while blatantly obvious take on procrastination: Things That Aren't Doing the Thing Preparing to do the thing isn't doing the thing. Scheduling time to do the thing isn't doing the thing. Making a to-do list for the thing isn't doing the thing. Telling people you're going to do the thing isn't doing the thing. Messaging friends who may or may not be doing the thing isn't doing the thing. Writing a banger tweet about how you're going to do the thing isn't doing the thing. Hating on yourself for not doing the thing isn't doing the thing. Hating on other people who have done the thing isn't doing the thing. Hating on the obstacles in the way of doing the thing isn't doing the thing. Fantasizing about all of the adoration you'll receive once you do the thing isn't doing the thing. Reading about how to do the thing isn't doing the thing. Reading about how other people did the thing isn't doing the thing. Reading this essay isn't doing the thing. The only thing that is doing the thing is doing the thing. If you're not doing your thing, TEAM-CBT interventions such as the decision making form (demonstrated in the video below), habits & addictions log, TIC/TOC, Problem-solution, and small-steps-for-big-feats can all be helpful in getting you unstuck and moving forward.

Learned helplessness occurs when individuals repeatedly experience situations beyond their control, causing them to feel powerless in changing outcomes. Initially studied by psychologist Martin Seligman, this phenomenon arises from the belief that one's actions are ineffective, no matter how hard they try. In adults, consistent experiences of helplessness such as ongoing job rejection, abusive relationships, chronic illness, or repeated failures, can significantly impact mental health and lead directly to depression. The connection is rooted in cognitive patterns. When adults frequently perceive their circumstances as uncontrollable, they begin to internalize feelings of inadequacy and hopelessness. Over time, they may stop attempting to improve their situations, convinced their efforts are futile. This passivity and resignation closely mirror symptoms of depression, such as persistent sadness, lack of motivation, withdrawal from social activities, and diminished self-worth. For example, someone who is repeatedly criticized at work may gradually stop speaking up in meetings as they come to believe that their input doesn't matter. This silence becomes a learned response, amplifying feelings of despair and reinforcing a depressive mindset. Such individuals often struggle to recognize opportunities for change, thus perpetuating a vicious cycle where helplessness and depression fuel each other. Fortunately, awareness can lead to change. Therapeutic approaches, especially cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), effectively address learned helplessness by helping people reframe their thoughts and regain a sense of agency. Encouraging small steps toward achievable goals rebuilds confidence and can break the cycle of negativity.

Operant conditioning is a psychological concept developed by behaviorist B.F. Skinner. At its core, it’s a method of learning in which behaviors are influenced by their consequences. Simply put, actions followed by rewards tend to be repeated, while those followed by punishment are less likely to occur again. There are four key components of operant conditioning: positive reinforcement, negative reinforcement, positive punishment, and negative punishment. Positive reinforcement  involves adding something pleasant to encourage behavior (like praise or a treat). Negative reinforcement  removes something unpleasant to increase a behavior (like turning off a loud alarm when you buckle your seatbelt). Positive punishment  adds something unpleasant to reduce a behavior (such as a scolding). Negative punishment  removes something pleasant to decrease a behavior (like losing screen time). Source: Washington State University This method is widely used in shaping human behavior, from parenting and education to therapy and even workplace management. For example, teachers use praise to encourage participation, parents use time-outs to reduce tantrums, and employers offer bonuses to boost productivity. When trying to build new habits or improve relationships, rewards are generally more effective than punishment for shaping behavior, especially in the long term. When someone’s positive actions are recognized and rewarded, they are more likely to repeat them. This principle can be applied in everyday situations, like complimenting a partner for being a good listener or giving a child a sticker for completing chores. Positive reinforcement encourages people to repeat desired actions by creating a sense of motivation and trust. It helps clearly define what behaviors are valued and builds internal motivation, rather than relying on fear or avoidance. While punishment can stop unwanted behavior temporarily, it often fails to teach better alternatives and can lead to resentment or conflict, particularly in close relationships. Though setting boundaries is important, using rewards to highlight and encourage positive behavior tends to foster more lasting, meaningful change. The beauty of operant conditioning lies in its simplicity and effectiveness. By understanding how consequences shape behavior, we can intentionally encourage growth, not just in others, but in ourselves. We all can learn how to use it as a powerful tool for creating positive change, one action and one reward at a time.

Behavioral Activation (BA) is a powerful and evidence-based intervention for depression  that focuses on helping individuals re-engage with meaningful activities to improve mood and well-being. Beyond exploring thoughts and emotions, CBT weaves in BA to prioritize action that breaks the cycle of avoidance and inactivity that often accompanies depression. How Does Behavioral Activation Work in Depression Treatment? Depression can lead to withdrawal from daily activities , which in turn reduces opportunities for positive experiences and reinforces feelings of sadness, fatigue, and hopelessness. BA works by identifying and gradually increasing engagement in rewarding activities  to boost motivation and restore a sense of enjoyment. Key steps in Behavioral Activation in depression treatment include: Tracking Activities & Mood : Patients monitor their daily routines to identify patterns of avoidance and inactivity. Identifying Meaningful Activities : Patients pinpoint activities that previously brought joy, fulfillment, or a sense of accomplishment. Setting Small, Achievable Goals : Instead of waiting to feel motivated, patients start small  (e.g., taking a short walk, calling a friend) and gradually increase their level of engagement. Overcoming Barriers: CBT, as the overarching umbrella round BA, helps patients address negative thinking patterns that might prevent them from participating in activities. Reinforcing Positive Changes: As patients ople become more active, they experience small boosts in mood, which creates a positive feedback loop  that counteracts depression. Why is Behavioral Activation Effective? Research shows that BA is an effective element of cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT)  and even outperforms medication in some cases . It is especially beneficial because it focuses on practical, real-life changes  rather than just talking about events in your life. For those struggling with depression, small steps toward meaningful activity can lead to big improvements  in mood and overall quality of life. If you're feeling stuck, talk to a therapist to see how Behavioral Activation can be a helpful tool to get back on track.

In Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), values and goals serve different but complementary functions in shaping a meaningful life. Values are guiding principles that define who we want to be and how we want to act in the world, while goals are the concrete steps we take to manifest those values. Dr. Russ Harris , a leading ACT practitioner, explains, “Values are like a compass: they give us direction and keep us on track when life gets difficult. Goals are the things we try to achieve along the way.”  In other words, values are ongoing and never fully completed, while goals have a definite endpoint. For example, if someone values kindness, they may set goals such as volunteering at a shelter or calling a friend in need. However, once the goal is achieved, the value of kindness remains and can continue to inspire new actions. Goals are like milestones along the journey, but values define the path itself. One of the key benefits of distinguishing between values and goals is resilience. If we attach our sense of fulfillment solely to achieving specific goals, we may feel lost or disappointed when circumstances prevent us from reaching them. However, if we focus on living in alignment with our values - regardless of external outcomes - we can maintain a sense of purpose even in adversity. By clarifying our values and setting goals that align with them, we create a life that is rich with meaning and psychological flexibility. As Harris emphasizes, “The moment you start living by your values, you have already succeeded, regardless of the outcome.” Therapy can help you identify, articulate, and embrace a life led by your values.

In Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), core beliefs are deeply held convictions about ourselves, others, and the world. These beliefs, often unspoken and formed through early life experiences, act as internal lenses. They shape how we interpret events and influence our automatic thoughts and emotional responses. For instance, if you have a core belief of being "unlovable" you might interpret a friend's brief unavailability as personal rejection, and feel anxious or sad. Conversely, another person without this belief might view the same situation as a result of the friend's busy schedule, eliciting no negative emotion. These core beliefs are self-sustaining: like a powerful magnet, they tend to attract evidence that confirms them and dismiss or distort information that contradicts them. This reinforcement can perpetuate unhelpful thinking patterns and emotional distress. Recognizing and challenging these core beliefs is a fundamental aspect of CBT. By identifying and restructuring unhelpful core beliefs, clients can alter their interpretations of events, which in turn can lead to more balanced emotional responses and healthier interactions with the world. Here is a bit more information on this rich topic:

Does the thought of vomiting send shivers down your spine? If so, you might be one of the many people who struggle with emetophobia . Emetophobia, or the intense fear of vomiting, is a specific phobia that can significantly disrupt daily life. This phobia can include the fear of vomiting in public, seeing vomit, watching others vomit, or feeling nauseated. People with emetophobia often go to great lengths to avoid situations that might trigger their fear, which can lead to severe restrictions in social, educational, and professional activities. It can significantly impact your daily life, causing anxiety and avoidance behaviors. Good news: Emetophobia is treatable with effective therapies like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and exposure therapy. Understanding Emetophobia Emetophobes experience intense fear and anxiety around the possibility of vomiting. This fear can be triggered by various situations, such as seeing someone else vomit, feeling nauseous, or even just the thought of vomiting. The fear can be so overwhelming that it leads to avoidance behaviors, such as skipping meals, avoiding social situations, or traveling long distances. How CBT Can Help Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)  is one of the most effective treatments for emetophobia. CBT works by helping individuals understand the thoughts and behaviors that trigger their phobia. Through CBT, a therapist helps the person challenge and change their unhealthy beliefs related to vomiting, and learn to manage their anxiety. Techniques might include thought restructuring to combat negative thinking patterns and behavioral experiments to test the beliefs in a controlled manner. Exposure Therapy for Emetophobia Exposure Therapy  is another crucial component in treating emetophobia. This therapy involves gradually and systematically exposing the person to the thought, images, or situations related to vomiting. The idea is to desensitize the individual to their fears by increasing their tolerance to anxiety-inducing stimuli. The exposure must be done gradually, starting from less fearful situations to more challenging ones, and is often combined with relaxation exercises to manage anxiety during exposure. For more in-depth guidance and resources on emetophobia, the website EmetophobiaHelp.org  is an excellent place to start. It provides comprehensive information on the nature of emetophobia and details various treatment methods, including personal stories and support options. This site emphasizes the importance of seeking professional help and offers tools and encouragement for those looking to overcome this challenging condition. The Road to Recovery Emetophobia can be a debilitating condition, but CBT and exposure therapy can equip you with tools to manage your anxiety, reduce avoidance behaviors, and live a life free from fear. If you suspect you have emetophobia, reach out to a mental health professional who specializes in anxiety disorders. With the right treatment, you can overcome emetophobia and live a full and enjoyable life.

Everyone has a sleepless night every now and then. What we do - and don't do - during the day, how we eat, what we drink, how much we exercise, our environment, our mental health, and how much stress vs. pleasurable activities we have in a typical day all influence the quality of our sleep. When insomnia hits for a night or two, it is easy to catch up. But when it becomes a chronic issue, it needs to be addressed before your health starts to suffer. One of the most effective and widely recommended treatments for insomnia is cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). There are two models of understanding and treating insomnia in CBT. The first approaches insomnia as the main focus of treatment. It starts by addressing behavioral modification, i.e., how long you stay in bed, and then moves on to address your beliefs about sleep. This line of treatment is often referred to as CBT-I, or cognitive-behavioral therapy for insomnia. CBT-I is shown to work better than sleeping pills, with no side effects! There are several self-help apps and websites for CBT-I. Personally, I recommend  cbtforinsomnia.com , a five-week online intervention with some clinical oversight. A second model of looking at insomnia is to view it as a symptom of another, bigger emotional health problem. Often times, insomnia is a consequence of depression or anxiety. For example, patients with excessive anxiety and worry may have trouble falling asleep as their mind starts racing - worrying about tomorrow's to-dos or ruminating about past events - the minute they lay their heads on the pillow. In this case, treating the underlying disorder (anxiety) with an approach such as TEAM-CBT will lead to the insomnia resolving itself short-term. In either case, a well trained CBT therapist may be able to guide you on your path to a good night of restful sleep!

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is a powerful tool for understanding the connection between thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. At its core, CBT posits that the ways we interpret events (our appraisals) directly influence our emotional responses. Emotional specificity within CBT takes this principle a step further, proposing that certain classes of appraisals predictably lead to specific classes of emotions. For instance... When someone interprets a situation as involving a significant loss , this appraisal typically gives rise to emotions like sadness or grief. Appraisals of threat , where an individual perceives potential harm to their safety, self-esteem, or values, tend to evoke fear or anxiety. Violation  appraisals, i.e., when someone perceives injustice, disrespect, or betrayal, often result in anger. This framework offers a precise way to dissect emotional experiences. If you struggle with pervasive anger, a CBT practitioner can guide you to uncover whether you habitually perceive situations through the lens of fairness and justice. Likewise, fif you are battling anxiety, examining your tendency to overestimate threats or dangers can reveal the root of their emotional distress. Emotional specificity is also crucial in tailoring interventions. Techniques like cognitive restructuring are most effective when applied to the specific thought patterns tied to the emotion in question. For instance, addressing catastrophic thinking is key for anxiety, while challenging rigid beliefs about fairness may help alleviate anger. By understanding how specific appraisals drive distinct emotions, CBT not only enhances emotional insight but also empowers individuals to reshape their thought patterns. This emotional precision transforms the therapeutic process, enabling clients to respond to challenges with clarity and resilience.

Exposure therapy is a cornerstone of evidence-based treatment for anxiety disorders and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Its foundation lies in addressing avoidance behaviors and unlearning the fear responses that perpetuate distress. Avoidance, while a natural response to fear, often reinforces anxiety by preventing individuals from realizing that feared situations are not as threatening as perceived. Over time, this avoidance creates a vicious cycle of heightened fear and reduced functioning. For anxiety disorders, such as phobias, panic disorder, and social anxiety, exposure therapy helps by gradually and systematically confronting feared situations or sensations in a controlled manner. Through repeated exposure, clients learn to recalibrate their fear response - a process known as habituation. They begin to see that the anticipated catastrophic outcomes are unlikely, and their anxiety diminishes as their brain "unlearns" the fear association. In PTSD, exposure therapy focuses on processing traumatic memories that individuals avoid. Avoidance can lead to persistent symptoms such as flashbacks, hypervigilance, and emotional numbing. Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT), a structured form of exposure therapy for PTSD, helps clients safely revisit traumatic events and associated cues to reduce the power these memories hold. Over time, clients gain a sense of control and find relief from their symptoms. The effectiveness of exposure therapy is supported by extensive research. It is recommended by leading mental health organizations, including the American Psychological Association (APA) and the Department of Veterans Affairs, as a first-line treatment. While exposure therapy can be challenging, a skilled therapist can provide a supportive environment, tailoring the process to the client’s pace and needs. By breaking the cycle of fear and avoidance, exposure therapy empowers individuals to regain confidence and live fuller, more engaged lives. It demonstrates that courage, practice, and support can pave the way to meaningful recovery.

TEAM-CBT is a framework for providing evidence based psychotherapy. It was developed by Dr. David Burns, MD, Adjunct Emeritus Professor at Stanford School of Medicine.  What is Evidence-Based Practice in Psychotherapy? Evidence-based practice in psychology is the integration of the best available research with clinical expertise in the context of patient characteristics, culture and preferences.  It leverages evidence-based treatments. This designation describes specific clinical interventions that have been validated as efficacious for certain mental health conditions under rigorous academic research. Many cognitive and behavioral interventions (e.g., thought re-structuring, exposure therapy) are recognized by the American Psychological Association  as evidence-based treatments. What is CBT? ​Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is a type of evidence-based treament. It examines our thoughts processes - our idiosyncratic way of seeing the world around us -, our typical behaviors or actions, and our emotions in defined moments in our lives. It then providers actionable, well-defined, and simple ways of modifying thoughts and behaviors, with the ultimate goal of changing our feelings - for the better. It is focused on the here and now and aims to deliver symptom reduction in a fast but sustainable way. What is TEAM-CBT? TEAM, as mentioned above, is a framework for compiling cognitive and behavioral therapy interventions and delivering them through powerful, results-driven psychotherapy. TEAM stands for four key elements in this therapeutic approach: T = Testing In this type of therapy, clients are asked to gauge their level of distress and life satisfaction on a regular basis. Looking at metrics over time, the client and therapist can then determine whether their work together is helping the patient objectively improve their well-being. E = Empathy Before the more active part of the therapy begins, it is imperative that the therapist and the client be on the same page. TEAM-CBT offers specific techniques for increasing openness, authenticity, and vulnerability in the therapy sessions. A = Agenda Setting This is where TEAM combines evidence-based practices of traditional CBT with elements of Motivational Interviewing , a therapeutic method that works on facilitating and enhancing intrinsic motivation within the client in order to change behavior. The client and the therapist develop a shared agenda for the overall work and for each session where the client is effectively arguing for change - and thus melting away the psychological resistance to upset the status quo.  M = Methods TEAM brings together over 50 cognitive and behavioral methods for change, from traditional thought analysis and behavior experiments to innovative role playing techniques, compassion-based techniques, communication training, and much more. For each angle of unhelpful thought processes, TEAM has a number of powerful techniques that can help the client find more constructive alternatives. The goal of TEAM therapy is to help the client, over time, become their own therapist. For individuals motivated to change their lives, it can lead to meaningful gains in happiness, peace, fulfillment, and contentment in short periods of time.  To lear more about TEAM therapy, visit Dr. Burns's  Feeling Good website or call me for a free phone consultation.

Effective communication is a cornerstone of healthy relationships, and Dr. David Burns, my mentor, friend, and the creator of TEAM-CBT therapy, has articulated five key secrets to mastering it. These techniques are designed to improve how we connect with others, fostering understanding and reducing conflict. Here’s a look at these five secrets: 1. The Disarming Technique: This strategy involves finding truth in what the other person is saying, even if you disagree with their overall point. By acknowledging the validity of their perspective, you can defuse tension and create an environment where both parties feel heard and respected. This doesn’t mean conceding your stance but rather showing empathy and openness. 2. Express Empathy: Dr. Burns emphasizes the importance of empathy in communication. This involves listening attentively and reflecting back the emotions and thoughts the other person is expressing. There are two forms of empathy: thought empathy, where you paraphrase their words, and feeling empathy, where you acknowledge their emotions. This helps the other person feel understood and valued. 3. "I Feel" Statements : Effective communication often requires vulnerability. By using "I feel" statements, you can express your emotions without blaming or criticizing the other person. This technique helps convey your feelings in a non-confrontational manner, fostering a more open and honest exchange. 4. Stroking or Affirmation: Stroking involves expressing genuine, positive feelings or admiration toward the other person, even during a disagreement. This technique softens the interaction, making it easier to navigate difficult conversations with kindness and respect. 5. Inquiry:   Engaging in inquiry means asking gentle, open-ended questions to encourage the other person to share more about their thoughts and feelings. This not only shows genuine interest but also helps you gain a deeper understanding of their perspective, paving the way for more meaningful dialogue. These techniques can help improve your communication with your spouse, coworkers, family members, customer service representatives and even strangers in line ahead of you! Here is an example of an exchange between a husband-wife duo that didn't go so well: Wife: "You never listen to me" Husband: "I listen to you complain all the time" Wife: "You suck!" Here is the same exchange using the '5 secrets' above: Wife: "You never listen to me" Husband: "You are right, it's hard for me to stop and just let you talk (Disarming), and it feels like I never listen to you (Thought Empathy). I imagine you are feeling upset and angry, but also hurt and lonely (Feeling Empathy). I feel sad when I see you sad and frustrated when we can't communicate well (I Feel Statement). I love you so much and you mean the world to me (Stroking); I want to be here for you. Can you tell me more about how you're feeling?" Wife: "Well, I am feeling lonely...(and continues to share, towards a more loving and intimate exchange)" If you want to learn how to use these techniques on your own, you can start with Dr. Burns Feeling Good Together book. And if you need more help after that, you may want to consult with a TEAM-CBT therapist.