Dr. Levy's CBT Blog
Insights on Well-Being, Contentment, and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
![]() Life throws its fair share of curveballs. Difficult emotions, stressful situations, and intrusive thoughts can leave us feeling overwhelmed and lost at sea. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) offers a powerful technique called ACE (Acknowledge, Connect with your Body, Engage), also known as "dropping anchor," to help us navigate these stormy waters and find our inner calm. Why We Struggle: Our natural tendency is to avoid or fight unpleasant emotions. We might try to distract ourselves, numb out with unhealthy habits, or ruminate on negative thoughts. However, these strategies often backfire, leading to increased anxiety and a feeling of being stuck. The Power of ACE: ACE provides an alternative approach, helping us develop psychological flexibility. Here's how it works:
0 Comments
We all have that inner critic, the voice that whispers (or shouts!) negativity after a mistake or setback. But what if you treated yourself with the same kindness and understanding you'd offer a friend in the same situation? That's the core idea behind the Double Standard Technique, a powerful tool used in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The Problem with Our Inner Critic CBT focuses on the connection between thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Often, negative thoughts lead to negative emotions and unhealthy behaviors. A common culprit behind these negative thoughts is harsh self-criticism. We hold ourselves to unrealistic standards, leading to feelings of guilt, shame, and inadequacy. The Double Standard Technique: Treat Yourself Like a Friend The Double Standard Technique flips that script. Here's how it works:
The Double Standard Technique works because it exposes the unfair double standard we often hold ourselves to. We'd never be so cruel to a friend, so why be that way to ourselves? By practicing this technique, you can:
The Double Standard Technique takes practice. Here are some tips:
![]() Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) offers a toolbox of skills to manage overwhelming emotions. One powerful technique is "opposite action," which involves deliberately choosing a behavior contrary to your emotional urges. You may benefit from learning a bit more about it. At our core, emotions are wired with action tendencies. For example, fear compels us to flee, anger pushes us to fight, and sadness leads to withdrawal. While these urges might be helpful in immediate danger, they can be detrimental in everyday situations. Opposite action disrupts this automatic cycle. By consciously choosing an action opposite to our emotional urge, we break the emotional hijacking and regain control. For example, if social anxiety makes you want to cancel plans, opposite action would be to force yourself to attend. This might feel uncomfortable initially, but it can lessen the anxiety over time. Similarly, when feeling overwhelmed and tempted to isolate, opposite action could be reaching out to a friend. Overcoming the initial discomfort allows for connection and support. The effectiveness of opposite action lies in its ability to:
Here is a handout from Psychotherapy Academy on how to put this technique to good use in your life. Those of us who are lucky enough to be able-bodied and perfectly capable of putting one foot in front of the other should be walking at least 30 minutes a day, 5 days a week. Why? Because walking brings enormous benefits for our health, both physically and mentally.
This article from Fresh Daily Health details several ways in which walking can help us lead healthier lives. Benefits of regular walks include:
On this last point, it is worth highlighting that walking can help reduce stress, ease anxiety, and combat that nagging desire to do nothing that comes with a clinically significant depression. So, if you can find a few breaks on your calendar daily, even if it is just 10 to 15 minutes two or three times a day, get out there and start putting one foot in front of the other! Your body will thank you. Often times, it is hard to find the right therapist, at the right location, available on the right days, and at the right price. If you are having trouble finding someone with whom you can connect, keep looking. Ask your friends and medical providers for recommendation. Search online directories for psychologists near you, such as those from Psychology Today. Look through membership listings at national or regional psychology associations such as the American Psychological Association. Or, if you know you want an evidence-based provider using cutting-edge technology, search for certified TEAM-CBT therapists on the Feeling Good Institute website.
While you go through your research, you want to pay attention to your mood and well-being. Here are some tips for taking care of yourself while you wait for your psychotherapy to start: Self-Care “While You Wait” While you are waiting for individual counseling, you may want to implement these tips to try to alleviate some of your distress. (This is for informational purposes only, and is not intended to treat any conditions. These tips are not meant to be substitutes for mental or physical health counseling.) Find activities that sooth and relax you. Relaxation improves the mind and helps the body recover from stress. Even 10 minutes a day would be helpful! Use deep breathing techniques--take a deep breath slowly and all the way down to your stomach, hold your breath for a few seconds, and slowly breath out by emptying your stomach of your breath. Tell yourself to “let go of any tension” as you breath out. Do this for at least 5 or 6 times in each sitting. Practice yoga, listen to some relaxation tapes, etc. Do some kind of physical activity, even if you only have 10 minutes. Find a routine that creates a sweat and that fits your style (e.g., walk, swim, tennis). This will help with your stress, anxiety, and depression symptoms. Keep a journal. Write down your thoughts and feelings in various situations. Note any patterns or questions you’d like to discuss in therapy. Pay attention to your mind and body. Nourish your body with nutritious food. Skipping meals robs you of the energy to cope. Nurture your spirit. Pray, meditate, practice whatever that fits your spirituality. Sleep and rest when you are tired. Laugh, especially at yourself and Take time to play. Spend time with those who make you laugh. Watch a comedy or read a funny book. There is evidence that smiling changes your emotions to pleasant and your thoughts to optimism. Nurture a positive view of self. Catch yourself when you start to think negatively or are putting yourself down. Actively replace these negative thoughts with a positive view. Create a list of affirmations for yourself (e.g., I grow and change; I am open-minded, etc.). Even if you aren’t convinced, fake it until you make it! Make connections. This will take time to develop. Create and maintain contact with a small group of people you can call on for emotional support. Take turns talking and listening. Isolating yourself can make things worse. In addition, here is a brief list of resources where you can obtain guidance and assistance in a crisis situation:
Adapted from SJSU CAPS Dr. Aaron Beck was one of the pioneers in developing the theory and applications behind Cognitive Therapy for the treatment of clinical depression. In Dr. Beck's views, depression does not stem from a 'chemical imbalance in the brain." Instead, it stems from an imbalance in our way of thinking. When someone is depressed, there are usually three common themes to the content of their thoughts:
He called these ways of thinking the "depressive triad." Depressed individuals often feel a loss of interest in things that were previously pleasurable or important to them and function at lower levels compared to their former selves. They can also experience noticeable changes in levels of energy, appetite, sleep, and ability to concentrate, while having thoughts of low self-worth, guilt, and, in more extreme cases, suicide. Here is a full list of symptoms of depression as defined by the American Psychiatric Association.. In Cognitive Therapy, client and therapist will partner up to identify common thought patterns for the client that relate to their depression. They can then analyze those patterns together, with openness and curiosity, to see what is 'off' about them. With close collaboration and powerful therapeutic techniques such as those in TEAM-CBT, the "depressive triad" can be annihilated. ![]() In evidence-based psychotherapy, we most often depart from the premise that the client is unwell. We diagnose disorders based on set lists of symptoms and tailor treatment to particular presenting concerns. The goal is to eradicate the illness and restore the client's functioning to its previous, higher level. But what if we didn't have to get unwell to begin with? There is a whole field of psychology focused on that: Positive Psychology. Positive psychologists spend their days studying how we can make ourselves feel better and prevent the down periods in life. Live Happy Magazine published a comprehensive summary of widely embraced ideas to help us all lead healthier emotional lives. While none of them are going to jump out as new and surprising, it is a god reminder to heed some age-old advice to live fully and sensibly. Positive Psychology recommends:
My colleague, Dr. Leah Weiss, from the Stanford Graduate School of Business, published this thought-provoking article in the Harvard Business Review:
https://hbr.org/2017/03/stop-mindlessly-going-through-your-work-day In it, Leah discusses how all of us frequently go through a work day without actually noticing where the time goes or how precisely we are spending our time. That can lead to dissatisfaction at work, driven by inefficiency, disengagement, and potentially health problems. The antidote, as you can imagine, is to add both a sense of purpose and mindful action to our days. It is obviously not easy to do at all times, but it is possible with some deliberate intention. Here are her suggestions:
When presented with important choices in their lives, clients often ask me "Is this the right choice?...Is this OK?..." The clear answer for that is "It depends!!!". What is right for your life obviously hinges on your personal values, dreams, and aspirations. While no one can give you answers on what to aim for, we can suggest parameters to consider when weighing your choices and making important (or even everyday...) decisions.
A "great life," however it looks like for you, should maximize your ratings and satisfaction across the dimensions below:
In short, choices that increase your purpose in life; social, financial, and physical well-being; or community belonging are likely "right" and definitely "OK." Sometimes we move along these axes in unison, other times we need to make trade-offs among them. But those are the key ingredients in a great life for everyone of us. How you mix them up to create your own unique recipe, it's up to you. The picture below, from the fantastic website Psychology Tools, shows what happens in our body when our brains perceive a possible threat: Just like our ancestors used to do when living in caves tens of thousands of years ago, whenever we think there is a threat coming our way (e.g. "there comes a sabre-toothed tiger!"), we prepare to fight it or quickly run away from it. Our bodies, being the well-oiled machines that they are, immediately go into survival mode and get ready to deal with the threat by activating an internal "alarm system". In simple terms, this system is called the fight or flight response.
Once our brain identifies a possible danger, stress hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline are released by the adrenal glands. I response, muscles tense up, particularly the larger ones, to prepare for a possible battle or long run. The heart starts beating faster, pumping more blood around the body, which elevates its temperature. The rise in temperature triggers sweating to cool the body down. As blood vessels in the skin contract to force blood towards those all-important major muscle groups, areas such as palms and feet become both cold and sweaty. As breathing becomes faster and shallower to take in more oxygen, we may feel a bit dizzy or lightheaded if the excess oxygen is not being used right away. Thoughts also start racing to keep up with the changes in the environment. As digestive and elimination systems are not vital, they receive less blood and we might feel nausea, butterflies in the stomach, along with urges to use the bathroom. All of these reactions get us ready to deal with that tiger. And in those situations, they are indeed indispensable, life saving. Indeed, if we go back many millennia, we are all decedents of the pre-historic men and women with the best "alarm systems - those that did not get eaten by the tigers! However, nowadays, there aren't many saber-toothed tigers walking around. The perceived threats come from our financial troubles, fear of rejection, loneliness, arguments with a spouse, concerns about a job, memories of a traumatic event, self-doubt, regrets, and many, many other ideas that we ourselves label as dangerous. In those instances, the fight 0r flight response is unnecessary. Worse, it can interfere with just being able to live a fulfilling life. If that is happening to you, talk to a therapist. You can learn to fine tune your fight or flight response so that it works for you, not against you! |
AuthorDr. Daniele Levy is a licensed psychologist offering CBT in-person and via Teletherapy in Menlo Park, CA. Her background uniquely combines leading edge training in behavioral sciences with deep expertise coaching and mentoring working professionals in dynamic organizations. Categories
All
|
This website is provided for information purposes only. No professional relationship is assumed by use of this website.
|
California License PSY 27448
Copyright © 2014 Daniele V. Levy, PhD Bay Area Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) Office: 830 Menlo Ave, Suite 200, Menlo Park CA Mailing: 405 El Camino Real #256, Menlo Park CA www.cbttherapy.com |